I really dont know how to handle this, or rather deal with it. I;ve had a dream career as a journalist, a loving husband and a great home that we bought last year. But lately, things are just not working out. Nothing's happening. The promotion has been stuck up because of dumb politics, the promised raise is also hung because of inflation, my trip abroad for a great executive management programme is in limbo. I like the timesjobs ad that says u cant encash a pat on your back at the bank. 
I dream big, I want to be a trillionaire, not because Im a money monger, but because I feel money is required to fulfil one;s simplest wishes, as also it helps bring a smile on your loved ones' faces. By brother wanted a new phone for his birthday, but I couldnt afford, I want to gift my dad a brand new car, but I cant afford, I want to buy new carpets and curtains for my home, but  again...yes, money honey. Where's the money? Every time I see a fantastic silk saree in the showroon window, how i wish I could buy it for my mum and ma -in- law, both of whom I so adore. But then the 10 K that I;d have to spend on them would have to go for the bank instalments. Sigh!!!  I sometimes dream of owning the money that I want. Then I can give it to whoever needs it genuinely. The clerk in my office who has two daughters to be married off but is still repaying his loan, my colleague who sledges in this job so that he can feed his big family. He once said to me; My parents are old, they're 80 plus. But look, they're so healthy. I must keep them like this, as a son would. But I cant afford their tonics. And they dont fall ill either. How bad I felt. I would give him some 10 lakhs, and say, go, buy the tonics and get your daughter some good clothes. And dont worry, Im there. My maid, she had no money to buy an umbrella. I gave her my old one which she uses till date. I'd give her a decent home to live in. My maasi, who toils everyday at a remote school. I;d give her 25 lakhs, and say, Maasi, enough. Sit at home and rest now. My mum dreamt all her life of a nice square bungalow, I want to build one for her, exactly the way she wants it. I want to gift my parents a world tour. I want to buy my pa-in-law a mobile, he always asks me one and we laugh it off saying u dont need it now. How I wish I had a small car when I soak myself in the pouring rains. I always look longingly at all the designer dresses that are shown in the glossies. I can then buy some really elegant ones for me. The beautiful bags, the pricey perfumes, the comfy shoes. I can go to the North Pole and see the Northern Lights. I can donate a big chunk to the local Ganeshji and Hanumanji temple. I will.
But how? I want to earn money through hard work. , I dont want  it to fall it in my hands. I always tell my husband, whoever says money cant buy happiness, has plenty of it himself. Have u ever had goosebummps in your stomach when u had to supress your desires, has ur throat been ever blocked with a lump for not giving in to your child's desires, for not having the money to buy something that you so yearn for? Money cant buy happiness, but it can yield happiness for sure. The other day, I met a local astrologer who writes good stuff for my publication. I asked him about this. He said many are facing the same crunch. And the period will last till 6 october. I said why dont u publish it then. He said I cant, people will be  more frustrated. Let them live in the hope that this too shall pass. How true.